No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving — I’m talking about the internationally celebrated Make Up Shit About Futrelle Day. MUSAF Day is one of those holidays that can be enjoyed at any time, but its officially recognized date is January 19.
Roscoe P. Coltrane kicked off the festivities for us in 2012. After David made the common sense observation that
seriously inebriated people cannot consent to sex! If you have sex with someone who’s wasted (or unconscious), that is actually rape, and you may well find yourself the target of a real rape accusation – nothing false about it.
Subsequently, Roscoe decides to MUSAF, and boy does he MUSAF like a pro! Immediately afterwards, Shadow and Holly Pervocracy address his points with reason and logic, but it is Dracula who realizes that Roscoe was really just celebrating the holiday.
Manboobzers are always up for a party! Here are some highlights of the celebration:
David Futrelle was not born. He was hatched.
David Futrelle sleeps every night in a chamber filled with butterflies.
David Futrelle doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks the fermented blood of wild boars he hunts with his bear hands.
That’s not a typo. David Futrelle’s hands are bears.
David Futrelle likes his meat so rare, he only eats unicorns.
Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be David Futrelle.
I wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas, and Chuck Norris wears David Futrelle pajamas.
David Futrelle’s favorite appetizer is a marmoset bruschetta.
David Futrelle’s second favourite appetizer is MASS MURDER.
David Futrelle is Jesus’ real father. That’s right. He cuckolded God.
David Futrelle removes the little tags from mattresses and uses them in unspeakable rituals.
David Futrelle can fly, but chooses not to.
* This might have been one of my first comments on Manboobz!