Poetry Inspired by Antz

Sadly, by which I mean opposite-of-sadly, we are no longer visited by Anthony Zarat, aka Antz, but he is still occasionally active over on Reddit and A Voice for Men.  You can see a typical example of his subdued and subtle writing style here.

At WHTM, we can turn dross into gold– or Antz’ bombast into poetry.

All hail the hero Zarat,
Who nobly, selflessly fought
To rid future lands
Of the feminist plans
To forbid having sex with a bot.

Three cheers for the mighty Zarat!
He has foiled the femne-nasty’s plot!
Their misdeeds were thwarted
Before they even started,
Waylaid before the plan was thought!

It’s true that no feminist sought
To banish VR or its lot…
But we know what’s needed,
Anthony succeeded!
Huzzah for the psychic Zarat!

~ BY kirbywarp

Hey, baby. Let’s divide the country in half along the Mississippi and put men on one side, women on the other, and all the men get sexbots.

There once was a man went by Zarat
who shunned feminism’s stick and carrot.
With computers, he’ll free
us, one day, you’ll see.
‘Til then, he makes due with parrots.

Anthony heralds a brave new world,
a land where a man’s a man and a girl
can bang what she pleases
without pollen or sneezes;
and yet, those feminists thwart him, the churls!

His nano-tool quietly probes
the realm of eye color and ear-lobes.
With a magical womb
he’ll seal Dworkin’s tomb,
and ‘cross the ‘Sippi he’ll don purple robes.

His eyes red for the men they sell,
those dastardly feminist sex cartels,
he makes his case
in comments with haste
to condemn the baby-hating devils.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

Bunny’s not shunning feminism’s carrot, that’s for sure.

Mr. Antz’s
defunct
who used to
ride a virtual reality
sexbot
and break onetwothreefourfive feminists justlikethat
Jesus
he was a brave warrior for men
and what I want to know is
how do you like your blue-eyed boy
Mister Futrelle

~ BY cloudiah 

well hello there, e.e. cummings knock-off

Antsy,
free man’s fancy:
black and white
just like the night
of feminist souls
(sickly, not droll);
the bulldog who tore
through dread iron doors
of misandrist dogma
with canine kerygma,
honesty unbesmirched
and hard facts, with zeal researched.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

The Bulldog vs. Misandry

Zarat warned of horror and dread,
For women on freedom would tread.
He threw quite a fit
‘Cause he couldn’t admit
That his enemies were in his head.

~ BY kirbywarp

Too much horror and dread. Have a cuddlesome wombat.

They called him the man with the plan,
the wall-’em-off, hook us up plan.
Don’t call it the Matrix;
that’s feminist hate speech.
Call it the Andrix, or perhaps Penis-Land.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

Yeah I’m just posting totally an unrelated photo of Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a kitten. It’s my blog.

My Mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun.
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
She is, after all, a feminist sexual slaver,
and for her looks gives no red rat’s behind.
I once went to the store and bought her a razor;
but, thinking twice, I knew she’d poke me blind.
I hate to hear her speak, yet well I know
that her jaunty skipping to the Court hath a far more loathsome sound;
I wish I had to Thailand for a FOREIGN BRIDE flown,
for my Mistress, when she walks, shakes the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think VR as rare
as any FOREIGN BRIDE belied by false compare.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

This should be the symbol you see when your web page is loading. I think I already used this gif. I don’t care.

Zarat feared his FOREIGN BRIDE
would leave him in the lurch.
So he found a place to hide
and started his research.

“My FOREIGN BRIDE is sweet and kind,
and full of loving sentiments.
If only I could free her mind
of all that pesky sentience!”

“Of course! I’ll make a VR clone
that imitates her shape!
I’ll finally have someone to bone
that can’t ever escape!”

“The feminist control the sex,
but oh, how they will scream
when my VR creation wrecks
their money-making scheme!”

And so, brave Zarat soldiers on,
and fights for the legality
of non-existant VR pron,
and freedom from reality.

~ BY dracula

At least this is tangentially related to the preceding poem.

Relax, my friends, and let me tell a tale
Of lies, deceit, treachery and despair,
Of jealousy, of love of children fair,
But mostly of a certain bulldog’s fail.

Donned he his intellectual armor true.
Grabbed he his sharpened, battle-tested wit.
His metaphoric steed chomped at the bit,
And to the den of vipers swift he flew.
His mind was set on justice for the few
Who’d not exist for ’bout a hundred years.
His blade would work to wipe away their tears
of forced affections to their unjust rule.
Beware, for future woman scorns the love
That man may feel towards his virtual child,
So sex she prices ‘ccording to her whim.
The cries of Justice heard in skies above
As Zarat races onwards to the wild;
Delusion sadly shared only by him.

~ BY kirbywarp

Hey it’s another bulldog reference. I’m recycling.

Bro, you wish you could rhyme like us,
Troll our trolls all the time like us…
Bro, you couldn’t be sublime like us,
No matter how you try.

Just try and match our Logger’s Limericks.
You’re nothin’ compared to Dracula’s tricks.
Cloudiah’s verse will leave you a mix,
‘Gainst Kirby’s sonnets you’ll fry.

Welcome to manboobz, home of the snark.
We’ll knock your bigot ass out of the park
With written word zingers leaving you in the dark…
You’re out of your league, son. Time to say goodbye.

~ BY kirbywarp

‘sup?

He took Antsy as his nom de guerre,
along with a crate of new underwear:
for the battle is harsh
and it’s like a marsh
when you’re at war and you can’t wash…down there.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

For dog’s sake, please wash down there.

AND EARLIER:

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

~ kirbywarp

It appears that this last poem opened the kitten portal: