A Guide to the Greek Alphabet

When I think of the alphabet, I think of sweet songs from my childhood:

Or maybe sweet songs from my post-childhood period:

But today, we’re here to talk about the Greek alphabet. It turns out that there are no cute songs about the Greek alphabet (at least not easily found), although I did find this:

Kind of catchy! Er…  Anyway, the Greek alphabet can be used to write things in Greek, and it can also be used to classify human beings. The former usage is completely reasonable; the latter… Not so much.

By the way, I found a great new source of GIFs. By “great” I mean OMGICAN’TBELIEVETHESEGIFS! Here’s a wolf one:



In the comments of a discussion of a Red Piller’s assertion that all women are shit, a discussion of the alphabet breaks out.

roguepixie wonders:

Alpha, beta, etc…. It’s so bizarre. I mean, who thinks of people this way? Maybe if he stopped thinking of life as something that needed a rating system, he would find a nice girl and stop being so, yes, bitter and misogynistic.

lkeke35 notes that

They probably don’t actually realize those letters represent an alphabet or even recognize it as language other than English.

And then Zolnier perfectly sets things up so that artistry can happen with this:

Thank you Ikeke, now I get to enjoy the mental image of Redpills trying to come up with definitions for all the letters.

Karalora delivers!

Alpha: Men women have sex with

Beta: Men women trick into raising their children (sired by alphas)

Gamma: Men who turn green when angry

Delta: Men who work for major airlines

Epsilon: Men who…uh…can we come back to this one?

Zeta: Men who know they can’t hack alpha status, refuse to accept beta status, and think Z’s make them sound cool and edgy

Eta: Men who want to know when you’re going to arrive

Theta: Men who want to know when their permanent teeth are going to arrive because they’re tired of lisping

Iota: Really tiny men

Kappa: Men who bow back when you bow to them

Lambda: Men who like baby sheep

Mu: Men who like baby cows

Nu: Men who help you level up in 65,000,000 BC

Xi: Men who try to type the number 11 in Roman numerals but let go of the Shift key too soon

Omicron: Men from planets orbiting stars in the constellation Perseus

Pi: Men who like baked desserts

Rho: Men who propel their boats gently down the stream

Sigma: Men who consider themselves the sum of all things

Tau: Men who misspell branches of Eastern Philosophy

Upsilon: Like Epsilon (if we ever figure that one out) but upside-down

Phi: Men who like the Fibonacci Sequence

Chi: Men who draw treasure maps

Psi: Men who compulsively check their tire pressure

Omega: Men who realize that all that wolfpack stuff is bullshit and doesn’t even apply to wolves

That calls for another wolf GIF.  A sparkly, snarling wolf GIF.


And maybe one more? With a wolf leaping out of a painting?




Karalora deserves some kind of grade for that alphabet. I’m going to go with this one:


About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
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2 Responses to A Guide to the Greek Alphabet

  1. kittehserf says:

    Karalora’s alphabet has ALL the win.

    Now lessee … Mr K would be an alpha, kappa, pi, chi and omega.

    Now if only I knew how to do anagrams.

    But hang on … if Mu is pronounced mew it must be men who like KITTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

  2. Karalora says:

    Heeeyyyyyy…I didn’t know you made a post out of this! Glad to see I managed to be so entertaining! And I just know that we’ll figure out epsilon someday.

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