A Guide to the Greek Alphabet

When I think of the alphabet, I think of sweet songs from my childhood:

Or maybe sweet songs from my post-childhood period:

But today, we’re here to talk about the Greek alphabet. It turns out that there are no cute songs about the Greek alphabet (at least not easily found), although I did find this:

Kind of catchy! Er…  Anyway, the Greek alphabet can be used to write things in Greek, and it can also be used to classify human beings. The former usage is completely reasonable; the latter… Not so much.

By the way, I found a great new source of GIFs. By “great” I mean OMGICAN’TBELIEVETHESEGIFS! Here’s a wolf one:

:: SMOOTH SEGUE ::

In the comments of a discussion of a Red Piller’s assertion that all women are shit, a discussion of the alphabet breaks out.

roguepixie wonders:

Alpha, beta, etc…. It’s so bizarre. I mean, who thinks of people this way? Maybe if he stopped thinking of life as something that needed a rating system, he would find a nice girl and stop being so, yes, bitter and misogynistic.

lkeke35 notes that

They probably don’t actually realize those letters represent an alphabet or even recognize it as language other than English.

And then Zolnier perfectly sets things up so that artistry can happen with this:

Thank you Ikeke, now I get to enjoy the mental image of Redpills trying to come up with definitions for all the letters.

Karalora delivers!

Alpha: Men women have sex with

Beta: Men women trick into raising their children (sired by alphas)

Gamma: Men who turn green when angry

Delta: Men who work for major airlines

Epsilon: Men who…uh…can we come back to this one?

Zeta: Men who know they can’t hack alpha status, refuse to accept beta status, and think Z’s make them sound cool and edgy

Eta: Men who want to know when you’re going to arrive

Theta: Men who want to know when their permanent teeth are going to arrive because they’re tired of lisping

Iota: Really tiny men

Kappa: Men who bow back when you bow to them

Lambda: Men who like baby sheep

Mu: Men who like baby cows

Nu: Men who help you level up in 65,000,000 BC

Xi: Men who try to type the number 11 in Roman numerals but let go of the Shift key too soon

Omicron: Men from planets orbiting stars in the constellation Perseus

Pi: Men who like baked desserts

Rho: Men who propel their boats gently down the stream

Sigma: Men who consider themselves the sum of all things

Tau: Men who misspell branches of Eastern Philosophy

Upsilon: Like Epsilon (if we ever figure that one out) but upside-down

Phi: Men who like the Fibonacci Sequence

Chi: Men who draw treasure maps

Psi: Men who compulsively check their tire pressure

Omega: Men who realize that all that wolfpack stuff is bullshit and doesn’t even apply to wolves

That calls for another wolf GIF.  A sparkly, snarling wolf GIF.

And maybe one more? With a wolf leaping out of a painting?

 

 

Karalora deserves some kind of grade for that alphabet. I’m going to go with this one:

Name change: wehuntedthemammoth.com becomes womenbeinghateful.com

The inimitable David K. Meller starts us out here:

 Oh, c’mon manboobzers! At least female ones!

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD? Just look at your posts on manboobz.com! For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

I’m still wondering when Futrelle is going to change the name of his blog here from manboobz to womenbeinghateful.com?

This is actually one of Meller’s more reasonable, less histrionic, comments. (Here’s a more typical example.) He even omitted his usual PEACE & FREEDOM!!! signoff. But note how he’s too prissy to type the word pussy.

This, combined with the original post, somehow segues into commenters talking about typing with their genitalia:

Pussy-typing is where my Vagina Dentata come in real handy. It makes it easier to hit individual keys in order to make words, as opposed to just sort of ramming my crotch into the keyboard, hoping for the best.

~filetofswedishfish

ive tried to start typing with my penis so i can stand in unity with the pussy typers. i find it easier to lay the keyboard on the floor and assume a push-up position over it. in the minus column i can’t figure out a way to leave one ball on the shift key to do caps and symbols. in the plus column i’m going to hAVE AN INCREDIBLY TONED UPPER BODY IN SHORT ORDER. damn capslock. i am not going back and fixing that my foreskin is exhausted

~Improbable Joe

Penis typing could get you this. Start typing everything with your penis.

Shaenon manages to channel Meller with her own missive to David:

My dear little David! I do hope you do not include my gentle, loving, kindly, thoughtful and generous plan to put the men of the world under my solicitous boot-heel among your charges of “man-hating”!! As I have explained quite eloquently, I love men!!! I hate only “men,” those malicious and non-fluffy bearers of the John Thomas who mean-mindedly refuse to devote themselves to my service and pleasure!!!! There is nothing misandrist about hating such “men,” even though they comprise 100% of male humans currently walking the terrestrial sphere!!!!!

Ah, but things were different in the golden age now past!!!!!! I weep to think that I was born in this foul and corrupted epoch!!!!!!! Have you, David darling, ever stopped to shed a tear for the oppression I suffer from the dearth of fawning male slaveys in my kitchen and bed-chamber? Have you considered how much happier you would be if regularly and lovingly whipped by a kindly–

Alas!!!!!!!! Alack!!!!!!!!! My valve, it troubles me again!!!!!!!!! To the somnatorium for my bed-rest!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE AND BIOCHEMICAL DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAENON!!!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE AND BIOCHEMICAL DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!

Out of nowhere, a wild Broseidon appears. He tries an unsupported accusation:

To be fair, some folks here do strike me as the type who’d gleefully stab a man in the gut for looking at them funny, then innocently claim it was self-defense and he totally deserved it. Just sayin’.

It’s not very effective:

That’s funny, because you strike me as the type who’d body-paint himself entirely as a zebra and climb the Empire State Building while throwing increasingly dangerous-to-pedestrians pamphlets promoting homeopathy at the sidewalk, and other stuff I just completely made up.

I think I need to add “argument from what you would do, okay you haven’t, but I totally know you would” to the Shopworn Perennials.

Now climb the Empire State Building!

From there, the thread kind of devolves into some whining from a guy named Simon, and people trying to explain to him why you don’t get to have sex with people who don’t want to have sex with you. (Why is this still something we have to explain?)

But it does contain this classic line from NWOslave:

We do, 1.5 million abortions a year gets tossed into the rivers and oceans. Eat a fish eat a fetus. Catchy saying, huh?

Um, for some value of “catchy” maybe?

 

Poetry Inspired by Antz

Sadly, by which I mean opposite-of-sadly, we are no longer visited by Anthony Zarat, aka Antz, but he is still occasionally active over on Reddit and A Voice for Men.  You can see a typical example of his subdued and subtle writing style here.

At WHTM, we can turn dross into gold– or Antz’ bombast into poetry.

All hail the hero Zarat,
Who nobly, selflessly fought
To rid future lands
Of the feminist plans
To forbid having sex with a bot.

Three cheers for the mighty Zarat!
He has foiled the femne-nasty’s plot!
Their misdeeds were thwarted
Before they even started,
Waylaid before the plan was thought!

It’s true that no feminist sought
To banish VR or its lot…
But we know what’s needed,
Anthony succeeded!
Huzzah for the psychic Zarat!

~ BY kirbywarp

Hey, baby. Let’s divide the country in half along the Mississippi and put men on one side, women on the other, and all the men get sexbots.

There once was a man went by Zarat
who shunned feminism’s stick and carrot.
With computers, he’ll free
us, one day, you’ll see.
‘Til then, he makes due with parrots.

Anthony heralds a brave new world,
a land where a man’s a man and a girl
can bang what she pleases
without pollen or sneezes;
and yet, those feminists thwart him, the churls!

His nano-tool quietly probes
the realm of eye color and ear-lobes.
With a magical womb
he’ll seal Dworkin’s tomb,
and ‘cross the ‘Sippi he’ll don purple robes.

His eyes red for the men they sell,
those dastardly feminist sex cartels,
he makes his case
in comments with haste
to condemn the baby-hating devils.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

Bunny’s not shunning feminism’s carrot, that’s for sure.

Mr. Antz’s
defunct
who used to
ride a virtual reality
sexbot
and break onetwothreefourfive feminists justlikethat
Jesus
he was a brave warrior for men
and what I want to know is
how do you like your blue-eyed boy
Mister Futrelle

~ BY cloudiah 

well hello there, e.e. cummings knock-off

Antsy,
free man’s fancy:
black and white
just like the night
of feminist souls
(sickly, not droll);
the bulldog who tore
through dread iron doors
of misandrist dogma
with canine kerygma,
honesty unbesmirched
and hard facts, with zeal researched.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

The Bulldog vs. Misandry

Zarat warned of horror and dread,
For women on freedom would tread.
He threw quite a fit
‘Cause he couldn’t admit
That his enemies were in his head.

~ BY kirbywarp

Too much horror and dread. Have a cuddlesome wombat.

They called him the man with the plan,
the wall-’em-off, hook us up plan.
Don’t call it the Matrix;
that’s feminist hate speech.
Call it the Andrix, or perhaps Penis-Land.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

Yeah I’m just posting totally an unrelated photo of Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a kitten. It’s my blog.

My Mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun.
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
She is, after all, a feminist sexual slaver,
and for her looks gives no red rat’s behind.
I once went to the store and bought her a razor;
but, thinking twice, I knew she’d poke me blind.
I hate to hear her speak, yet well I know
that her jaunty skipping to the Court hath a far more loathsome sound;
I wish I had to Thailand for a FOREIGN BRIDE flown,
for my Mistress, when she walks, shakes the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think VR as rare
as any FOREIGN BRIDE belied by false compare.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

This should be the symbol you see when your web page is loading. I think I already used this gif. I don’t care.

Zarat feared his FOREIGN BRIDE
would leave him in the lurch.
So he found a place to hide
and started his research.

“My FOREIGN BRIDE is sweet and kind,
and full of loving sentiments.
If only I could free her mind
of all that pesky sentience!”

“Of course! I’ll make a VR clone
that imitates her shape!
I’ll finally have someone to bone
that can’t ever escape!”

“The feminist control the sex,
but oh, how they will scream
when my VR creation wrecks
their money-making scheme!”

And so, brave Zarat soldiers on,
and fights for the legality
of non-existant VR pron,
and freedom from reality.

~ BY dracula

At least this is tangentially related to the preceding poem.

Relax, my friends, and let me tell a tale
Of lies, deceit, treachery and despair,
Of jealousy, of love of children fair,
But mostly of a certain bulldog’s fail.

Donned he his intellectual armor true.
Grabbed he his sharpened, battle-tested wit.
His metaphoric steed chomped at the bit,
And to the den of vipers swift he flew.
His mind was set on justice for the few
Who’d not exist for ’bout a hundred years.
His blade would work to wipe away their tears
of forced affections to their unjust rule.
Beware, for future woman scorns the love
That man may feel towards his virtual child,
So sex she prices ‘ccording to her whim.
The cries of Justice heard in skies above
As Zarat races onwards to the wild;
Delusion sadly shared only by him.

~ BY kirbywarp

Hey it’s another bulldog reference. I’m recycling.

Bro, you wish you could rhyme like us,
Troll our trolls all the time like us…
Bro, you couldn’t be sublime like us,
No matter how you try.

Just try and match our Logger’s Limericks.
You’re nothin’ compared to Dracula’s tricks.
Cloudiah’s verse will leave you a mix,
‘Gainst Kirby’s sonnets you’ll fry.

Welcome to manboobz, home of the snark.
We’ll knock your bigot ass out of the park
With written word zingers leaving you in the dark…
You’re out of your league, son. Time to say goodbye.

~ BY kirbywarp

‘sup?

He took Antsy as his nom de guerre,
along with a crate of new underwear:
for the battle is harsh
and it’s like a marsh
when you’re at war and you can’t wash…down there.

~ BY Tulgey Logger

For dog’s sake, please wash down there.

AND EARLIER:

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

Out of the blue, a die-hard came blowin
‘Bout fathers and prison and child-support owin.
We gave him our facts,
Thought he’d stop in his tracks,
But no. Anthony kept on goin…

A troll of the mightiest calibur. Mowin
Through links and through data without even slowin.
Though he rage like all hell,
I think we know him well!
His name, I’m quite sure, might be… erm… hmm.

I haven’t quite finished the last verse yet.

~ kirbywarp

It appears that this last poem opened the kitten portal:

 

“You’re a dumbcluck,” the illustrated version

An MRA with the handle “El Rellok” proposes sending photos of bloody feathers to feminists as a … lesson, I guess? It’s a little confusing, even to other MRAs. We’re mocking it here. But as usual, I’m more concerned with the artistry featured in the WHTM comments section.

Mammotheer Blahlistic has the following proposal:

If sent a picture of a bloody feather, may I suggest you send back a picture of a live chicken, bearing the phrase ” You’re a dumbcluck”

Inspired by blahlistic, leocigale provides the illustration for that message:

 

And on the off chance you need to send a follow-up message, leocigale provides that as well:

 

 

The Feminist High Council Punishes David Futrelle Most Harshly

WHTM trolls often try to play “Gotcha!” with David, threatening to expose him in some way that will cause feminists to disown him, attack him, and feast on his liver. (Because feminists are naturally violent, of course!)

The MRA intellectual heavyweight Jason Gregory (@FunkyMunkyLuv) tried doing this on twitter, tweeting a blog post by some MRA dude who had found a smoking gun–in the form of a 1996 book review David wrote about Sharon Lamb’s The Trouble with Blame.

The way this anonymous MRA spun the review was, “When David Futrelle Claimed that Female Abuse Victims Should Take Responsibility for their Abuse.”

Wow, that doesn’t really sound like the David we know. Could it be true?

Myoo investigates and brutally eviscerates David, as feminists are wont to do:

there are quotes from David from an article he wrote in a magazine in 1966, in which he reviews a book called The Trouble With Blame.

The damning stuff appears to be David quoting the book or paraphrasing the book’s arguments and “theantifeminist” assuming that means he agrees with it.

There is some stuff in the article I don’t really like, but I hardly think it’s anti-feminist. Plus, from everything David’s wrote here, his views seem to have changed since then. You can read it and judge for yourself:
http://www.unz.org/Pub/InTheseTimes-1996jul22-00034

What a violent thrashing! Clearly at this point David has no alternative but to change his name, get a lawyer, delete his Facebook, and flee the country like a MRA trying to escape paying child support!

Oh wait, now that I’ve read it, Myoo’s not actually that hard on David at all. Just mildly critical.

But the Argenti Aertheri arrives, and now I know it’s going to be a bloodbath–like stepping on LEGOs or something!

Back on topic, that article? 18 years old. And for 18 years ago? Not that bad. Compared to the two he’s being compared to? *dies laughing*

Fuck, 18 years ago I was 10, so let’s go for 10 years ago, when I was just coming off my rabidly pro-life Christian shit, back when I was proud of refusing to study evolution. Yeah, I think I can give the shift in David’s view a pass. Not like he tried to kill his girlfriend and then wrote about it as a comparison to endangering a dog through idiocy.

Damn it!  I was told that feminists just love turning on male interlopers for the smallest of crimes (like, as Argenti alludes to, Hugo Schwyzer trying to kill his girlfriend). Why aren’t we being more brutal? Is it possible we’re just toying with David, hoping to entrap him into making more incriminating statements, before we swoop in and false accuse him & railroad him into our feminazi-controlled prison system?

That must be it!

And David falls for our trap!

On that old article of mine, obviously theanitifeminist is misrepresenting it, like everything else of mine he’s dug up. That said, there are real issues with that particular piece, specifically the sometimes glib language and the the fact that I went along with some of the victim-blaming logic of the book I was reviewing. Obviously I wouldn’t write that article today. It was 18 years ago, and my beliefs have very definitely changed. I didn’t realize back then the extent and the absolute perniciousness of victim-blaming narratives.

The two points I was trying to make in that piece that I still think are worth making: 1) It’s important to be aware of the tendency of abusers to present themselves as victims. 2) Demanding that all victims be perfect human beings in every way in order to be considered true innocent victims — particularly if this means that they have to fit some arbitrary “moral code” — is itself a form of victim blaming. As we can see every time a rape survivor is attacked as a “slut.”

Now we’ve got him just where we want him. And just like clockwork (well-lubricated with the tears of betrayed male feminists), the Feminist High Council convenes a Star Chamber to try David in absentia.

I almost can’t bring myself to look at the aftermath of that! But let’s just read it, shall we?

Mr. Futrelle,

The Feminist High Council held an emergency Star Chamber session after learning about your potentially problematic review of the book “The Trouble With Blame” by Sharon Lamb. We were concerned that you may have failed to uphold all Radical Feminist Protocol and Language Requirements as per your Male Feminist Blog agreement with the FHC. As you know, failing to fulfill those requirements would force us to either censure, shut down and/or think bad thoughts about the FHC-approved website currently known as “We Hunted The Mammoth”.

We have studied the article in question and considered your explanation. In light of the article’s age and your outstanding service in our secret war for female supremacy and global male gendercide, we have decided to let you off with a warning and not suspend WHTM at this time.

However, you yourself have admitted that the article fails to take into account “the extent and the absolute perniciousness of victim-blaming narratives”. In light of this breech in protocol we, after much debate, have decided on a suitable punishment. We now personally scold you with a hearty “tsk-tsk” and order your cats to think poorly of you for a period lasting between 48-72 hours, depending on their feeding schedule and availability of desired snacks. We and your cats encourage you to about what you have done and what you can do better in service of radical feminism.

Yours In Sisterhood,
The Feminist High Council
A Secret Bunker, CA USA

Well, that was brutal.  David is properly chastened.

I am relieved to hear the verdict of the High Council.

Has the cat thing started yet? I can’t tell.

This is a cat (with a little mouse masseuse) who is thinking poorly of you:

You can read more correspondence from the Feminist High Council (aka brooked) here, here, and  (my favorite of the three) here.

From the people who brought you Violence in the Library…

Violence in the Library was a very popular romance novel, of the kind that is beloved by feeeeemales. It turns out that there’s a sequel, coming to the big screen very soon:

 

Movie poster courtesy of katz. You can find katz’s other artistry on deviantART, including the illustrations for her forthcoming novel Among the Red Stars.

So, I’m going on vacation

I really wanted to make a post before I went away on vacation, but things have been really hectic. I have a great poetry slam to document when I get back, and I can’t wait. But I didn’t want to leave you with nothing, so there’s this:

We’re SO much better at this than they are…

NOTE: None of these posters is actually produced or sponsored by A Voice for Men. But since AVfM & their head spittle-producer Paul Elam have no problem with posters using the logos of other organizations against their wishes, it seems very STEM logical that they wouldn’t mind people using their logo against their wishes. I mean, honestly, anything else would be the worst kind of hypocrisy!

Onwards! This post is going to combine artistry from two separate worlds: manboobz.com and /r/againstmensrights. This combination might actually bring the world to an end, and if it does — well, what can I say? Sorry seems inadequate.

But life’s about taking risks!

And this time, I think Paul Elam and his band of minions are kicking themselves in the face.

(Oh, if only they were this adorable about it, right?)

MRAs have an overly dramatic reaction to the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign, which encourages men, who are mostly decent, to not be like the minority of men who rape women. Seriously, if feminists actually thought all men were rapists, the slogan wouldn’t be “Don’t Be That Guy” — it would be “Don’t Be A Guy, Since You’re All Rapists.” BUT WE DON’T THINK THAT.

Anyway, MRAs have hated on this campaign before.

And now they’re doing it again, but this time they’ve made a serious mistake — they’ve put the posters out with the logos of organizations that (a) supported the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign, and (b) definitely do not support the posters put up by Mens Rights Halifax, and endorsed by A Voice for Paul Elam’s Anger Issues Men.

I think we should pause here, for this:

I hope you’re feeling better now, because this gets worse.

It all started when people noticed this poster up in Halifax.  They let Bryony House, one of the organizations whose logo was on it, know; Bryony House quickly repudiated the poster. Which led Paul Elam of A Voice for Men to say the following:

YOUR CONSENT IS NOT REQUIRED

As David noted,

“Your consent is not required” seems to be the operating assumption of a lot of those drawn to the Men’s Rights movement.

Let’s pause again to say, Hey! Let’s FASU (Fuck AVfM’s Shit Up) by donating to Bryony House! (Credit Cards, Checks, PayPal accepted.) If you really want to make MRAs mad, do something to make the world a nicer place!

You know what’s also nice? Bunnies running obstacle courses.

(The Halifax Police were also named, but I don’t think we need to donate to them as they have other funding sources. Also, they’re taking steps on their own.)

Paul Elam of A Voice for Men states his position:

Be it known that if anyone legally placing posters is arrested or harassed by police selectively “enforcing law” in a way that discriminates based on ideology, A Voice for Men will fund legal action against them without hesitation. We will dedicate every resource we have to it. And we will not quit, ever.

That’s pretty internet tough guy! 

Most importantly, the problem is really about the “unambiguous misrepresentation of the views of several organizations with reputations to protect – including the Halifax police” not copyright, fair use, or anything like that.

Enough background. Let’s get to the ARTISTRY. If Paul Elam is unambiguously for misrepresenting the views of other organizations, it seems like his own organization is fair game!

First up: /u/TheBaby-SittersCoven from /r/againstmensrights (which, in spite of the name, is not actually against men having rights):

NOTE: This poster is a parody, and has not been endorsed by A Voice for Men or Paul Elam. But we already know Paul would be okay with it, because he believes it is fine to use other entities’ logos for things they would never endorse.

Manboobzer regular, and talented graphic artist Shaenon, also chips in with another poster totally not endorsed by A Voice for Men:

AMR regular /u/OMGCanIBlowYou jumps in:

NOT endorsed by Paul Elam

TheBaby-SittersCoven likes OMG’s idea and runs with it:

Also likely NOT endorsed by Paul Elam.

/u/cordis_melum also wants to play, Rule 5 of /r/badhistory-style:

DEFINITELY not endorsed by A Voice for Men

/u/TheBaby-SittersCoven continues on an /r/againstmensrights thread about Anita Sarkesian:

I’m pretty sure MRAs (including AVfM) hate Anita Sarkesian, which is kind of the point of this poster.

Those were beautiful.  You know what’s also beautiful? Napoleon riding a penguin.

It turns out that even perfection can be improved on:

 

 

 

I promise I’ll be back soon with more artistry, but in the meantime…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Anyone still reading this thing?

Sorry, I haven’t really had the heart to be updating lately but this artistry simply needed to be documented.

David wrote a post about some of the strange search terms that were leading people to his blog, and I sycophantically mimicked him by posting some of the strange search terms that were leading people to my blog:

slave to a manhater
udders under skirt
hurding cats limerick
feminism in importance of being earnest
this is not my point
rodney james alcala november 2012
nuns and kittens
mixed metaphor with deer
broken heart emo robot boy
war capybara
canadian travel advisory
connections between kittens and feminists
cat spaghetti
cheetos are hunting
pube terror
life stories and writings about prison life
lesson about judas
remarks about nasals victory
see boobz

Yes, you read that right. WAR CAPYBARA.

And then katz made it happen:

TREMBLE BEFORE THE WAR CAPYBARA!!!

I love the war capybara so much I … words don’t exist.

You can see more fabulous art by katz at her deviantART page.

You can see a less warlike capybara right here: