The Five Stages of Girls Getting All Up in Your Boy Stuff

Manboobzer Shaenon offers this helpful guide for dudes upset by LADIES getting involved in MEN’S stuff. Like, say, video games, comics, or the STEM fields.

Denial
“Girls can’t be scientists! Their brains are too small and pink! Plus they’d always be shorting out the equipment by getting tears and menstruations on it!”

“Comics are made for men. Females have differently-structured brains that make it too hard for them to process words and images at the same time. Yes, there are countries where lots of girls read comics, but they probably receive special training to catch up with the boys.” (Actual online argument I had with an actual prominent comic-book artist.)

“Girls playing video games? Impossible! They’d get scared and run away as soon as the ghosts started chasing Pac-Man.”

Anger
“What is this female doing in my IT department? I always imagined that when one of these creatures finally showed some appreciation for my field, she’d do it by begging me to set up her Facebook page in exchange for sex. Instead, this female is just sitting there waiting for her code to compile! She didn’t even ask me for help! And it’s just plain insulting that she chose not to be hot.”

“Comic-book conventions used to be safe havens where you could stop bathing for a weekend and swap hilarious Wonder Woman rape jokes. Now there are girls there ruining the whole vibe. I bet that girl doesn’t even know anything about Emma Frost, which is why she’s wearing an obsessively accurate handmade Emma Frost costume and carrying a stack of X-Men comics. Also, she’s hot, which makes me uncomfortable.”

“ARRRRRGH ANITA SARKEESIAN GRARRRGH ARRRR *hack* *koff* *choke*”

Bargaining
“Fine, we’ll just agree that any scientific field with a sizeable number of females isn’t real science. Psychology, obviously. And sociology, except for evo-psych essays about female inferiority, which are totes scientific. And anthropology. And biology. And chemistry. And oh my god they’re coming for the applied sciences! This was not part of the deal! We had an agreement! WE HAD AN AGREEMENT!”

“Any time I see a girl in a comic shop, I’ll assume she’s there for the manga. I will also complain loudly to everyone in the store about how dumb manga is, even though I’ve never read any. As long as everyone agrees that girls’ comics are different from men’s comics, and that difference is that they suck, I think I can maintain.”

“What do you mean, almost half of gamers are female? Then whatever games they play don’t count as games. Okay?”

Depression

“If we don’t stop females from doing science, they’ll destroy it. All human progress will cease, society will collapse, and we’ll go back to living in caves. What do you mean, humans never lived in caves? What did I say about anthropology not being real science?”

“Fake geek girls are ruining comics for real geeks, i.e. men. If our efforts to yell at them until they leave fail, our conventions will be overrun with sexy women dressed as our favorite characters. This will be terrible for some reason.”

“Every time a girl plays a video game, the Earth gets one degree hotter. This is one hundred percent true.”

Acceptance

…?

In closing, please have this epic guinea pig (in lieu of my usual GIF):

heroicGuineaPig

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Asher visits, causes artistry

We had a visitor, a dude named Asher, the other day over on a Man Boobz thread about gaming.  I believe that he left approximately 1,000 of the (currently) 1,130 comments on that post. While it’s a bit hard to summarize his contribution to the discussion, you can get a pretty good idea by visiting the link in katz’ comment below:

I put together an Asher-English dictionary, if anyone’s interested.

Opinions differ on whether Asher was boring or (unintentionally) hilarious; I come down in the boring camp, so I’m going to try to inoculate people from boredom by liberally sprinkling this post with GIFs.

GIF_sadCatReaction

Sad cat gets sad when she sees Asher define what is and what isn’t torture. Waterboarding is not torture. No, according to Asher only something like this is torture:

In ancient Persia when someone questioned the deific status of the King they would put them in a wooden box and force feed them. After awhile insects would come lay eggs in the box. Eventually, the person would die from organ failure due to the insects eating out their insides.

hellkell speculates as to what the actual cause of death might be:

Or being bloviated at by Asher.

CassandraSays notes that Asher-bloviation might actually be worse:

Death-by-insects sounds less painful. At least they might occasionally be quiet.

Ouch!

badassToCute

She elaborates:

Asher is more like the kind of torture where they lock you in a room and blast “We’re Not Going To Take It Anymore” at you on constant loop for 12 hours.

And further:

And then when the music finally stops someone reads you a car repair manual for the next 12 hours.

I think this GIF accurately sums up the reactions of most manboobzers to torture-by-Asher:

GIF_givingTheFinger

At a different point in the discussion, CassandraSays expresses sympathy for people whose careers involve having to read such bloviation regularly:

Reading some of the shit that trolls post here has given me so much more respect for college professors. Can you imagine having to grade dozens of essays that read like that? It’s amazing that more of them don’t go postal.

It’s almost like she’s psychic. Asher posts exactly the kind of shitthatneverhappened.txt that is the fodder for Reddit’s /r/thathappened:

As an undergrad, in at least four of my classes I actually had the professor ask me if he could copy a paper I’d written and pass it around to the other students as a model of what a parsimonious and concisely argued undergrad paper should look like. I’m not interested in the spotlight so I made sure they didn’t have my name on the paper and I told no one else in the class.

Can confirm story. Am spotlight.

This is when the fun REALLY starts!

cat_KittenTackle

CassandraSays continues Asher’s story, only more believably:

And then there was a spaceship, and the aliens came out and said “Asher, you are just the man we were looking for! Can you fix our ship?”, but he said “no, because you lack intellectual honesty”. And then a unicorn offered him a blowjob and a million dollars in bitcoins.

Much like Asher, the story keeps going:

But then all the other students figured out it was me anyway, partly because the unicorn was still following me around. It was a male unicorn, you see, so it was really motivated to keep offering me that blowjob. And then the other students elected me Official Genius and Dictator For Life.

GIF_SadSlowLorisAnd going:

The aliens were so sad that he wasn’t impressed with their intellectual honesty that they offered to move the goalposts around for him, in the hopes that some day he would agree to teach them about Greek philosophy.

And finally YoullNeverGuess brings the story to an end:

Asher stopped by the aliens’ space ship to pick up some unicorn food, only to discover that the aliens were throwing a party for everyone on campus. When Asher asked why he hadn’t heard about the party, the aliens explained that while they all liked him very much personally, he was only 1% tribal, and that was a problem for them.

Asher began a fascinating lecture on the philosophical implications of tribes as pertaining to exclusionary behavior and oppression. Unfortunately, he was only able to enlighten everyone for about 45 minutes, when suddenly the lights went off, the music stopped, and people remembered that they had to get a super early the following morning.

The aliens gave him a lifetime supply of unicorn food and told him that they were going to try fixing the ship on their own, so he didn’t need to come around anymore. Asher just laughed and shook his head. Who did those aliens think they were kidding? They were females.

Sadly, the unicorn didn’t exactly thrive around Asher.

GIF_unicornVomiting

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There’s a reason they call it “Game”

Manboobzer Alice notices that the RooshV Forum has linked to a Man Boobz post, and shares one of the comments she found there:

“I’m futilely trying to imagine the rage of these white knights when they realize the Roosh board slays far more pussy than they could even fathom. Life really does [have] a vicious sense of humor.”

This is the face I make when I hear anyone talk about slaying pussy

This is the face I make when I hear anyone talk about slaying pussy

Myoo compares PUA to role-playing games:

I am more and more convinced that PUA is just a weird role-playing game for them (no offense intended for other roleplayers):

-Weird outfits, check (peacocking);

-Impenetrable jargon, check (kino escalate, closing, HB, etc.);

-Different skills and abilities, check (negs, peacocking, kino escalation, etc.);

-Different classes and ranks (Average Frustrated Chump, Green Pick Up Artist (GPUA), master Pick Up Artist (mPUA), Grand Master PUA (gmPUA), Beta Boy Friend (BBF), Alpha Female of Group (AFOG)) (I kid you not, these are all actual PUA terms);

-An obsession with acronyms, check (see previous point);

-An obsession with numbers and stats, check (HB10, number of approaches/successes/rejections, etc.);

-Obstacles and dungeons to be overcome, check (women, pretty much);

-Loot to obtain, check (phone numbers and various forms of intimate and/or sexual acts);

-Bragging about the loot they got, check check check;

And all of this done without the women’s consent. At best its baffling (“Ho, maiden, thine Charisma is surprisingly high for a half-orc.”) and at worst is very dangerous, because they see it as a game and will do anything to “win”.

O_o

Never fear! Alice has the solution:

Well, it looks like the RooshVGang has linked to us, in return. So let’s keep linking back and forth until a wormhole is created.

The only problem is that sometimes the entrance to the wormhole can be a bit tight:

MaruWormhole

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MRA History Lesson, part 3: Judas Iscariot

This is a short chapter in the MRA history of the world, but it’s a good one! CassandraSays tackles biblical history and the story of Judas Iscariot.

I think maybe Jesus suspects...

I think maybe Jesus suspects something’s up…

Judas betrayed Jesus because that bitch Mary Magdalene friendzoned him and hooked up with that alpha son of God instead (even though he was a big hippie mangina). If she had just realized what a Nice Guy Judas was then Jesus would never have died, and the Church wouldn’t treat women like shit. You brought 2000 years of religious bigotry on yourselves, ladies.

Well, that seems pretty definitive to me!  Ladies, you need to figure out a way to make it up to the misters. And to Judas.

Find the rest of the History Lessons here.

Oh!  Here’s a cute kitten!

happyCat

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The Manosphere vs. the Scientific Method

The men of the manosphere like to think they’re all about science and STEM LOGIC, but in practice they seem to have very little understanding of the scientific method. They start with their desired conclusion, and then try to design experiments or manipulate data in order to get the results they want.

evilScientist2

Alive! Confirmation bias is alive! It’s alive!

Recently, Cthulhu’s Intern imagined what it would be like to encounter these dudes in a laboratory.

So what would it be like if they tried to do statistics/any kind of science at all?

Generic Psychology Lab:

Head Psychologist: You’ve got an experiment to propose? Well, tell me what it is and I’ll decide whether to fund it.
[Pickup Guru] Roosh: No, no. You don’t need to fund it. I’ve already proven it! It’s that women are dumber!

Head Psychologist: That’s your hypothesis?

Roosh: No! Those are the results!

Head Psychologist: So wait, you already did the experiment? What were your methods?

Roosh: Look at this news article! A woman did something stupid!

Head Psychologist: Is that all you have? So your sample size is 1?

Roosh: Eh, I can find more if you need me to.

Head Psychologist: And have you performed any psychological evaluation on this subject and analyzed the conditions of her environment to determine whether the cause may be something else? And are you going to do the same thing to the rest of those women that you find to determine if there’s any other possible correlation?

Roosh: No. I’ve never even met them.

Head Psychologist: Furthermore, where’s the control group?

Roosh: The what?

Head Psychologist: Have you put a group of men in the exact same situation to see if they do something different?

Roosh: No. Why would I do that?

Head Psychologist: *sigh* Where did you get your degree?

Roosh: What, a university? Why would I go to one of those misandric places? You know what, I don’t really need you.

Roosh sends his paper to a peer review journal.

I've got something to prove.

I’ve got something to prove.

A different psychologist uses the same method.

Other paper: “Results: Found woman doing something smart. Conclusion: Women are smarter than men.”

NOTE: This would also be bad science.

NOTE: This would also be bad science.

Seriously, this is like concluding that all movies feature big green things voiced by Mike Myers because the only movie you watched was Shrek.

Thanks, Cthulhu’s Intern!

shrek

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Totally Typical MRA Life Story

Dvärghundspossen offers up a cautionary tale for men.

I was raised to believe that women should be worshiped and that their every whim should be catered to. As a teenager I therefore spent millions of hours and dollars on driving the girl I had a major crush on to her football-playing boyfriend whenever she felt like paying him a visit. He hit her and raped her and treated her like crap, but she said to me that she’d still rather be with an evil football player than a nice guy like me.

One day the girl came home to my house and said she wanted to have sex with me. Happily I pulled out a condom and we did it. Afterwards, she grabbed the condom and ran into the bath room. I thought this was a bit weird, but didn’t give it much thought.

spermjacking_condom

Then I didn’t hear from her for a while. I was devastated, since I thought that after she wanted to have sex with me, she was gonna be my girlfriend.

Nine months later she called me and told me that she’d used the sperm in the condom to impregnate herself. She wanted to have a baby, but she didn’t want a husband. She just wanted to be left alone with her baby and her bonbons. Now it was time for me to pay child support!

By that time I was unemployed, after the state I live in had made it illegal to hire white heterosexual males. I told her I didn’t have any money. She brought the case the court, and the court decided that I had to give her a million dollars next day, or else I would be sent to prison. I had no choice but to rob a bank. And I got sent to prison for ten years for attempted robbery.

When I finally got out, I got sent to prison for another five years for failing to pay child support.

When I finally got out, the mother of my daughter called the court and said our child was actually the result of me raping her. I got sent to prison for another twenty years for rape.

When I was finally out of prison for good, I went to visit my little daughter. I said to her mother that I was willing to forgive her for everything, if only she’d allow me to visit my little girl from time to time. I was standing on her porch telling her all this. Suddenly, I heard a shriek from inside the house. It was my daughter. She was screaming “MUM MUM THERE’S A MAN ON THE PORCH! CALL THE POLICE BEFORE HE RAPES AND MURDERS US!”. It was too late. The woman I was once in love with, the woman I’d driven millions of miles to her football player boyfriend, the woman who had sent me to prison, had raised our daughter a feminist.

orson_clapping

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MRA History Lesson, part 2: Pre-Prehistory

dinoMisandry01

It’s always about the girls. WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ??!!!?!??!

Shiraz offers up our next installment of MRA history:

…I keep thinking about how all the meteorites that wiped out the dinosaurs was somehow the fault of the female dinos. See, the females were such cockteasers, the male dinosaurs were distracted — because they were forced into thinking about teh sex so much. That’s why the male dinosaurs did not take shelter or try to construct crude protection from the natural disaster with their snouts and claws. I mean, it’s not like the female dinosaurs could have done anything about it, because females aren’t natural leaders — no matter which species you happen to be talking about. And even still, the only surviving dino is descended from a evil bitch plesiosaur who survived extinction from hiding behind male plesiosaurs. This dinosaur is known as Nessie and lives in Loch Ness.

NOW has ordered me to spermjack you!!!

NOW has ordered me to spermjack you!!!

This reminds me of an earlier MRA/dinosaur comment prompted by becausescience:

Dinosaurs went extinct millions of years ago. Mra’s decide feminism is somehow responsible. How? Go!

I did my best to answer:

Dinosaurs, that’s a difficult one…

Here goes: Most dinosaurs weren’t very smart, but one was. He was very smart. Unfortunately (for the rest of the dinosaurs), he was also a beta dinogina. He realized that in the future, the planet would be ruled by humans. And that half of those humans would be females. And females are interchangeable with feminists, when MRAs need them to be anyway. And those females would need things, like iPhones and makeup and push up bras and cushions and scented fucking candles. Those females would need those things to satisfy the wants and desires created by the “You go, grrrl” society created by feminists like Oprah Winfrey and whoever runs Cosmo. And the manufacture of those things would require lots and lots of fossil fuels. And fossil fuels would require … fossils. So he made up a story about a big asteroid that was about to crash into the earth, dooming them all, and convinced them the best thing they could do was drown themselves in swamps. And so all the dinosaurs, even the females, killed themselves. For feminism.

Feminism kills. PROOF!

Find the rest of the history lessons here.

kittenstretching

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I’m sorry, I’ll be back to posting soon

I’ve been a little down, and it’s been easier to whack trolls than document artistry and silliness. I’ll be back soon though, promise.

Hugs.

Hugs.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

MRM History Lesson, part 1: Prehistory

One under-appreciated contribution made by the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) to the world at large is their historical research, which is both extensive and creative. This is the first installment in the MRM History of the World: Prehistory.

Men hunting the mammoth, while women stay home eating bon-bons and drinking flavored waters

Men hunting the mammoth, while women stay home eating bon-bons and drinking flavored waters

These concepts were all taken from a very cursory skim through the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Prehistory by MRAs

If you look at the actual hunter gatherer societies that remain in the world they are all extremely Patriarchal (in the original sense of the world in that the Father is the head of the family unit). This is because societies like that tend to be extremely violent. Men die in hunts and raids against other tribes and women only die of old age (kind of like now where only men die in war). This is why women outnumber men in the actual tribe. This leads naturally to polygamy and women doing most of raising of children and all of the camp chores, when they’re not busy foraging for berries and thereby evolving a love for lipstick and sweets.

Of course, prehistoric males would also have been involved in the development of their offspring. Play and nurturing and teaching. This is why equal child custody should be the law, unless men don’t want it. Anyway, we see the same behavior in dogs and cats, so no study is needed for that. But given the rivalries of the time, the constant need to protect territory and protect one’s tribe, the main male role would have been defense and provision. Don’t need a study for that either.¹

To talk about science for a minute, “biologically” men and women ARE different! Why you ask? Because they are two different genders (or sex) (I don’t know the difference. Don’t ask me to Google it). Evolution has produced all kinds of differences between the sexes. On top of the differences in genitalia, there is also distinct neural circuitry differences. Ladybrains are literally different from manbrains. Different biochemistry, and also hormones, skeletal structure etc. It’s just science, and I wish females weren’t so defensive about it². And it is all a result of adaption to our environment, culture and evolution from millions of years from prehistory to today. Different brain structures have a proven effect on cognitive ability, which is why men evolved to have more ambition.

Men know they need worldly success and riches (bigger spears! more mammoth flesh!) to get a sex or marriage partner. Women know they just need to complain about things. If men offer them a solution, or a logical, proven explanation, women have evolved to call you a misogynist or rape apologist and send you on your way or else false accuse you. Oh, and also beware of rationality. Women evolved not to like that.

So anyway, once a bunch of people who think like that get together, they form a Crowd and find someone to blame for their problems — spirits, tribal leaders, or later on, Kings, the Government, religion, Men, Whites, etc. — and then go about destroying that group. Once they have, however, it doesn’t solve their problems. “New boss, same as the old boss.” But again, that is what females like anyway, having an opportunity to complain. This is why they would manipulate the men sexually, and then say “Go hunt more mammoth, I’m sick of eating berries all day!” or “I know I told you that if you killed Og it would make me happy, but now that Og’s dead I’ve realized it’s really Gorp that is making me unhappy. Kill him!” And so on, and so on, which is how we have history.

Oh also, the reality is that there have been slave classes throughout history that occupied the overt positions of power while still being slaves. Certain psychological pressures could be applied to the slaves in order to turn them into the kind of slaves that could be trusted with power, even over their actual masters (who pretend to be the real slaves). They were scarred with shame while being taught to take their sense of belonging from their actual masters. This is how prehistoric females created a system of shadow power governed by shame and belonging. The class that is shamed–the (male) slave class–is constantly trying to earn a sense of belonging from the class that is seen to have innate value–the (female) master class–and the slave class earns that belonging through labor and warfare. This is how women have the ultimate power under patriarchy.³

Probably most people understand this. But strangely the overly academic theories of feminism and their adherents totally miss this.

Find all of the history lessons here.

References:

ShibaTouchingFlowers

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George Zimmerman has been found Not Guilty for the murder of Trayvon Martin

This is how I feel about that:

letsgetridofFlorida

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