Well, I never…

Two and a Half Men co-creator Lee Aronsohn defended his show’s tendency to portray women negatively by arguing that women “damage” men. After all, he said, “I never got my heart broken by a man.”

Unassailable logic!

Kyrie assails it!

I’ve never had my heart broken by a toothbrush. Either they are the most remarkable thing on Earth or they didn’t have the occasion because I never was in love or even in a relationship with one.

I’ve never been lied to by the king of Morroco!

I’ve never been betrayed by people living in Taïwan!

I’ve never been disinherited by my neighbor!

I’ve never been insulted by a mouse!

I’ve never been hit by my teachers!

Well stop with that shaming talk.  If you’ve never had your heart broken by a toothbrush, it’s just because you’ve never met the right toothbrush! Once that happens, you too will write anti-toothbrush plot lines for terrible sitcoms.

I will never forget how you crushed my spirit, you sexy, sexy toothbrush

I will never forget how you crushed my spirit, you sexy, sexy toothbrush

The title of this post makes me think it’s a good idea to put this here:


About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
This entry was posted in general mockery and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Well, I never…

  1. katz says:

    Have you thought about putting up a Welcome Package post? Argenti is running into the problem that, the more things we add to the welcome package, the more difficult it is to deliver without getting moderated.

  2. cloudiah says:

    Send me all the links, and I’ll make a page for it. I didn’t even think of that!

  3. katz says:

    Here’s the welcome package. And of course you may add whatever kitten you like.

  4. katz says:

    And here’s the link for cupcakes, which apparently dates way back.

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