Don’t Forget to Hate Women!

David covers a tirade by his Spearheader near namesake, Davd, about how school buses are a tool of the matriarchy because they have all these terrible safety features that “baby” children, like flashing lights and STOP signs.

Feminism won't rest until all boys ride to school on buses like this.

Feminism won’t rest until all boys ride to school on buses like this.

thebionicmommy spots a comment by “evilwhitemaleempire” about further matriarchal efforts to coerce manly men:

Yes, health and safety fascism (both in and out of the workplace) is a sign of matriarchy. No workplace is complete these days without some safety program pretentiously written by a r******* 8th grader or female HR department head.

The matriarchy really is terrible, trying to keep people, including men, from dying or being permanently disabled at work…

Wait, what? Shouldn’t MRAs be in favor of this? This position doesn’t make any sense!

Until Pervocracy reminds us of Spearhead’s Law:

it’s okay to hate men as much as you like, as long as you remember to hate women harder at the same time.

ozymandias writes a script for what that might look like, as directed by Judd Apatow:

Seth Rogen: The Spearhead, thanks for coming to your performance review

The Spearhead: No problem

Seth Rogen: So you’re the misogynist around here, is that fair to say?

The Spearhead: Absolutely, I hate women.

Seth Rogen: Ok, so take us through a day in the life of a misogynist

The Spearhead: Well the first thing I do is…
Post a comment (hate women)
Whine online (hate women)
Hate on single moms (hate women)
Old women are beasts (hate women)
Blame survivors (hate women)
Fat women are pigs (hate women)
Sluts are worthless (hate women)
Hit on Deborah (hate women)
Get rejected (hate women)
Post on roissy (hate women)
’bout my harem (hate women)
Get a sexbot (hate women)
Cry deeply (hate women)
Demand a refund (hate women)
(like a boss)
Neg Deborah (hate women)
Get maced (hate women)
Fifth of vodka (hate women)
She’s a bitch (hate women)
Go my own way (hate women)
Don’t actually help men any (hate women)
I’m going (hate women)
Oh, fuck me I can’t fucking do it shit
Pussy out (hate women)
Deborah spits on me (hate women)
Troll Manboobz (hate women)
FUCK ALPHA FUCK (hate women)
Economic stagnation!!!! (hate women)
Cock carousel (hate women)
Hunt the mammoth (hate women)
PEACE AND FREEDOM! (hate women)
Eat some bonbons (hate women)
Book of Learning (hate women)
$MONEY$ (hate women)
Pussy pass (hate women)
Sockpuppet (hate women)
Short skirts rape men (hate women)
Schoolbuses are evil (hate women)
Accused of rape (hate women)
Now I’m dead (hate women)

Seth Rogen: Uhhuh, so that’s an average day for you, then?

The Spearhead: No doubt.

Seth Rogen: You hunt a mammoth and die?

The Spearhead: Hell yeah.

Seth Rogen: I think at one point there you said something about a sexbot?

The Spearhead: Nah.

Seth Rogen: Actually, I’m pretty sure you did.

The Spearhead: Nah, that ain’t me.

Seth Rogen: Okay, well, this has been eye-opening for me.

The Spearhead: I hate women.

Seth Rogen: Yeah, no, I got that, you said it 400 times.

The Spearhead: I hate women.

Seth Rogen: Yeah, yeah, I got it.

The Spearhead: I hate women.

Seth Rogen: OK, great, I heard you, bye.

The Spearhead: …I’m so alone.

Now I’m picturing Seth Rogen’s reaction once The Spearhead leaves the office.

sethrogen

Advertisements

About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
This entry was posted in screenwriting and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s