Man boobz poetry slam (1)

The finest mind in the Men’s Rights Movement, Fidelbogen, is prone to impressive flashes of inspiration about feminism, such as this one:

Feminism spreads lies like a fly spreads germs.

A faithful sycophant follower illustrated that brilliant insight:

What can mere feminists do in the face of such reckless hate?  Why write slam poetry of course!

Lauralot comes through:

I heard a fly buzz when feminism died;
The stillness round her bed
Was like the stillness in Slut Walk
After the maginas fled.

The MRAs beside had catcalled hoarse,
And breaths were gathering sure
For that last onset, when alphas
Be witnessed in their power.

She willed her burnt bras, signed away
What portion of her lies
Made men accountable,-and then
There interposed a fly,

With cold, man-hating, stumbling buzz,
Between the light and she;
And then the windows failed, and then
There ended herstory.

Scar provides a somewhat subtle alternate illustration:

And then Moewicus starts the limericks!

There once was a man named Fidelbogenus
Whose pet fly buzzed around, pokin’ us.
Us feminist liars
cursed this truth-telling flier
Yet still it flew round our heads to beholden us.

Not content with subtle artistry, Scar also rewrites That’s Amore:

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here’s what they say:

When your wife hits your eye and you can’t even cry
That’s misandry!
When that eye starts to shine and you say “oh, it’s fine”
That’s misandry!
Your cup will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll say “help a fella?”
Sluts will say “Give me all your pay! Give me all your pay!”
Like a cruel tax collector.

When long hair makes you drool, like a cuckolded fool
That’s misandry!
When you slump down the street with no shoes on your feet
You’re in love!
When you buy them a ring then they say “You are dreaming, signore!”
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s misandry!

I think Dean Martin would sign on for that.

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About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
This entry was posted in poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Man boobz poetry slam (1)

  1. kvennarad says:

    Clerihew time:

    Fidelbogen
    came up with a neat slogan.
    It had something to do with feminist lies
    and flies.

    I’m sorry. It is very early in the morning over here.

    M
    __________
    Marie Marshall
    author/poet/editor
    Scotland

  2. Two Sweet Cats says:

    OMG! This is beyond hilarious! I feel I have reached some strange portal akin to the fairytale Rumpelstiltskin. Except, instead of spinning straw you are taking crap and spinning it into (comedy) gold. I am dying at “That’s Misandry”! hahaha!

    PS: Maybe consider putting a PayPal button up? Thanks so much for the laughs 🙂

  3. cloudiah says:

    @Two Sweet Cats: That’s a good idea — I don’t need extra income, but maybe I could put up a PayPal that would raise funds to help support the Manboobz blog, from whence all this hilarity flows. Glad it made you laugh.

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