A Troll’s catchphrase inspires poetry (updated with BREAKING NEWS!!!)

Mikhael Varpole (aka Torvus Butthorn, aka Steele) is one of our favorite trolls, because he has a … unique … way of expressing himself. This is the reason he is so easy to catch when he sockpuppets.

The 3 Faces of Steele

Case in point:  Steele, who has described himself as semi-attractive, semi-intelligent, and semi-successful, weighs in on a post about David Futrelle’s recent appearance on Al Jazeera:

I certainly agree that, while the West has some less than “stellar” marks on its cosmic report card, there is much that the rest of the world should – and indeed, does – aspire to. The West, and more specifically Europe, are and pretty much have always been the technological innovators. Democracy sprang primarily out of the West. The West has the highest quality of life by a wide margin – again, collectively.

Dracula replies:

So never mind all that oppression and junk we did. And are still doing.

Steele response with two of his favorite catchphrases:

Excuse me? Stop putting words in my mouth; you only make yourself the jester’s fool.

Here is actual footage of Steele* uttering the first phrase:

The second phrase, “jester’s fool,” has been puzzling Manboobzers since it was first introduced by Steele.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III believes he has the definition:

Excuse me, but wouldn’t a “jester’s fool” be awesome? I mean if someone was called an “actor’s actor” or a “singer’s singer” or – dare I say? – a “writer’s writer”, it would mean that person was considered a talent amongst talents; well regarded and influential in their field.

So basically “jester’s fool” means “talented comedian.” Is that better or worse than a semi-successful business guy, I wonder?

Myoo counters:

When I see “jester’s fool”, it just makes me think of a Jester that’s not very good at their job. Like, every other Jester is there unicycling and the jester’s fool** rolls in on a bicycle.

Sharculese, who as everyone knows is a cross between a shark and Herculese, weighs in:

jester’s fool sounds like something king crimson’s management convinced them not to call an album

And Rugglesby creates poetry:

The Jester’s fool he larks about
His jokes he will not share
While misandrists do softly steal
The padding from the chair
The feminists
They dig for gold
From which to forge a ring;
To summon the hypergamists
To the court of the crimson king.

Actual Picture of Steele at Work as a Semi-Professional***

*Caveat: For “Steele” please substitute “Steve Martin.”

** Tiny typo corrected.

*** Caveat: For “Steele” please substitute “an unknown person;” for “at Work as a Semi-Professional” please substitute “posing in a court jester’s costume.”



So, it turns out that Steele/Mikhael/Torvus is actually long-time Manboobz troll and troubled teenager MRAL. His dedication to trolling manboobzers is a little bit terrifying, frankly — but his dedication to his “craft” is, almost, admirable. If you are willing to overlook the fact that he is incapable of respecting another person’s autonomy and boundaries…  So, NOT admirable at all actually.

At least he provided us with hours (or at least many minutes?) of hilarity over many months in 2012. I hope he will take that dedication and creativity and channel it in healthier, less stalker-y directions in 2013.  MRAL, if you read this, please stay in therapy and find new hobbies. Even though this was at times very entertaining, I don’t think it’s good for you, and it’s a truly crappy thing to do to us.

Still, you deserve the award, as well as the wonderful trophy Myoo made for you so here you go:

Sock Troll of the Year

About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
This entry was posted in general mockery, poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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