I Am the Very Model of an Udder Fondler General

NWOSlave, the famed milking machine technician & 2011 Man Boobz Troll of the Year, has inspired much LOLing over the years, both for his own antics and those he has inspired in others. (For example, this NWO-inspired bingo card by Polliwog.)

Still, nothing could have prepared us for what happened on that fateful day of June 18, 2012.

With this innocuous comment referring to NWOSlave, Falconer set off a chain of events that had Gilbert & Sullivan spinning in their graves:

The important thing to remember (and the thing that the Udder Fondler General probably won’t remember at all)

Udder, ready for fondling

Don’t even think about it.

Katz starts things off

NWO is the very image of an udder fondler general.

cloudiah finishes the verse, and adds another verse and a chorus

He’s information matriarchal, statistical, and flouridal
He knows the queens of feminism, and he quotes the fights homosexual,
From Lingerie to Illuminati, in order categorical

[takes breath]

He’s very well acquainted, too, with matters Communistical
He understands equations, both traditional and New Math-ical
About Hillary Clinton he’s teeming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the plight of those falsely accused

With many cheerful facts about the plight of those falsely accused
With many cheerful facts about the plight of those falsely accused
With many cheerful facts about the plight of those falsely accucucused

Polliwog continues with a flourish

He’s very good at ranting about beating women in the street;
He knows that Jews will try to convert anyone they ever meet.
In short, in matters maddening, nonsensical, and miserable
He is the very model of an udder fondler general!

He knows that women’s choice of clothing always is so very sick;
He’s excellent at Spanish since he writes in fluent “Cryillic.”
He never cites his sources when he writes misogynistic screeds –
The source between his buttocks is the only source he ever needs.
He can tell all of the Manboobzers are evil people who must pay
Because we doubt that everything’s a plot made by the CIA.
He thinks we fill our rivers up with chopped-up fetuses galore,
And knows that every eight-year-old is basically a giant whore!

Snowy finishes in triumph

He can wash a micro mini skirt in under 20 minutes flat
he knows that you are not a real woman ‘less you are not fat
In short in matters biblical and chemical and fashionable
He is the perfect model of an udder fondler general

Falconer takes a bow for inspiring the mischief.

We owe Gilbert & Sullivan a great debt.  Here’s a nice performance of the song with its original lyrics:

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About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
This entry was posted in music, poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Am the Very Model of an Udder Fondler General

  1. Anti-Anti-Manboobz says:

    You could totally post your Romeo and Juliet take as well.

  2. cloudiah says:

    Ha, I have a whole backlog of things from people WAY funnier than me to get to first. Faux blogs are hard work!

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