Home renovation project (a very short story) + one more from a promising young writer

More stories from the author originally inspired by misogynistic Gor-porn and asstr.org:

“A teenager who would service his cock as well as other young, beautiful girls? As he registering this fact, he swore his deck grew another inch.”

If only I could find a couple of naughty nurses, a barely legal Russian nympho who wants to talk to me now, and a cheerleader who needs to be disciplined, he thought, I could have this thing big enough to fit all the in-laws when I grill out on the Fourth.

extending the deck

Show me your deck


No,” said Alice’s mother. “Absolutely not! I simply won’t have my daughter dressed like that!”


“Honestly, these young girls today,” the older woman tsked. “You go out in these conservative one-pieces — when I was your age, we wouldn’t even think about leaving the house without showing at least a little gazonga. How are you ever going to catch a man dressed like that?”

“Mom, I am not interested in ‘catching a man’!” Alice protested. “I thought I’d explained that to you–”

“I don’t want to hear it, Alice. Put on this bikini and I’ll take your picture.”

“No! It’s inappropriate and I’ll feel ridiculous!”

“Put on the bikini!”


“Either put on this bikini, or start eating that trash can!”

“Fine!” Alice snarled, grabbing the bikini from her mother. “I’ll feel like a fool, but fine!”

“That’s better, dear. Now put it on and go stand with the others.”


“So THAT’S the story behind that picture,” Jane said, eyeing the photo of one woman in a yellow bikini standing against a sea of black and white. “I always wondered.”

“And now you know,” Alice said. “I’ve never been so humiliated.”

“Well,” Jane said diplomatically, “at least it makes it easy to tell you apart from the other nuns.”



~ BOTH STORIES BY Leeloo Dallas Multipass

About cloudiah

I contain platitudes.
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