This is about a year old, and it made me LOL when I read it so here you go. Be sure to read all the way to the bottom for the CHALLENGE! UPDATE: And scroll past the challenge to see the ANSWERS TO THE CHALLENGE!
David wrote a post about a friend of MGHOW Marky Mark’s named Christopher in Oregon. CiO was almost delightfully loopy — or at least as delightful as it is possible to be when talking about genital warts. CiO describes the one and only time he ever tried to have sex, with a Mormon woman:
Something in me triggered a defensive mechanism of sorts. (Sort of like what happens when you are out in the forest and you see 1200 pounds of angry grizzly bear barreling towards your sorry ass. You climb a tree and hope for the best)
speedbudget points out the problem with that approach:
Does this guy know that one of the dumbest things you can do if you are confronted with an angry bear is climb a tree? Bears can climb trees. NOW YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A TREE WITH AN ANGRY BEAR.
pillowinhell suggests the best alternative strategy:
Not only can bears climb trees, they are easily able to push over some very big trees.
The best thing to do when encountering an angry bear is to teleport to safety.
Dracula, Polliwog, and Holly Pervocracy imagine how things will play out:
NOW YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A TREE WITH AN ANGRY BEAR.
Exits are UP and BEAR. What do you do?
>TAKE TREE BRANCH
I don’t know how to take tree branch.
You have: a small wooden idol, your father’s amulet, three eggs, and a piece of charcoal.
I don’t know how to punch bear.
>USE IDOL ON BEAR
I can’t use these things together!
>THROW IDOL AT BEAR
The idol smacks the bear on the nose.
NOW YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A TREE WITH A VERY ANGRY BEAR.
>GIVE EGG TO BEAR.
The bear eats your egg. Then he rips your arm off.
I don’t understand “wtf ow.”
You are trapped in a tree. There is a bear here. There is also an arm and a lot of blood.
You are now wielding your own severed arm.
>HIT BEAR WITH ARM
You arm yourself and bear your arm against the bear.
The bear is momentarily stunned.
You can’t climb with one arm.
You climb onto the stunned bear’s back, riding it like a pony. The bear is now yours to command.
David issues a call to the artists of Man Boobz:
Aww, Holly, a happy ending to the bear story! (And not in the dirty sense.)
All we need is for someone here to draw a picture of a manboobzer wielding their own severed arm as a weapon while riding a Mormon whore bear.
Now, that’s not too much to ask, is it? If you feel like you’re up to the challenge, post a link to your picture in the comments.
We have our first answer to the challenge from The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help!
And now another from lowquacks! Note the presence of Pierre.
Polliwog has fun with Google images…
And Myoo is playing too!
Lurking manboobzer augochlorella makes hir bear fly!